Stein Fairytale exercise

The Three Wishes

Once upon a time a time not long ago a time to far away for anyone to remember, there was a woodcutter and a wife. The woodcutter and the wife where poor once upon a time. Once upon a time the woodcutter and his wife were poor. Poor because they had no food or warmth. Poor in the way that many of us are poor today. Many of us are poor today because we have no power. Many of us are poor because we have made bad choices that can't be corrected quickly. Many of us are poor becuase we have no was to get unpoor without lots of money, but that is not part of this story.

The woodcutter and his wife were poor. One day the woodcutter went into the woods to cut wood for warmth. The poor have little warmth. Warmth is a good thing. In the woods the woodcutter found an elf stuck in a tree. The woodcutter chopped the tree down and saved the elf. The elf was magical. He said that he would grant this good woodcutter three wishes. Before the great small elf ran away he warned the woodcutter to use the wishes wisely. Before the three wishes the woodcutter was happy by the way, even though he was poor. Now the woodcutter had the weight of wishes on him.

The woodcutter has no name becuase he is poor and not worthy of one. His wife has no name either because she too is poor. So the nameless woodcutter went home to tell his poor wife that they had three wishes. The woodcutter hoped for wisedom in his wishes but everyone knows that the poor are not wise. If they were wise they would not be poor. It is strange to be wise and poor you know.

When the woodcutter's wife who has no other name than the woodcutter's wife found out about the three wishes, she was very happy. They would never be poor again. The woodcutter's wife sat down to think about what to wish for. The woodcutter was mad at the woodcutter's wife because there was not lunch ready for him. There was no food at all really. The woodcutter came home early with his three wishes and didn't give the woodcutter's wife enough time to make something. It was naturally her fault because everyone knows that when a woodcutter gets home a woodcutter's wife better have something ready for lunch. The woodcutter wished out loud for a sausage. There was a saugsage.

Now the woodcutter's wife was angry. She was angry because he used up a wish on a sausage. Only two wishes left. Two wishes were one less than three. Subract another and then there is one. Subtract another and then there is none. But they still had two wishes and because he had wished for something so stupid, the woodcutter's wife yelled at the woodcutter. She yelled for a long time. She yelled for a very long time.

Now the woodcutter was not one to be yelled at. The woodcutter was not someone to be yelled at for a long time. This man was not someone to be yelled at for a very long time. He was mad. He was very mad and he wished out loud that the sausage was her nose. The sausage was her nose. He laughed. He laughed hard. Subtract from three one and you have two. Subract another and you have one. You and I both know that the poor can not add or subtract very well, so maybe we should excuse his blunder. Few have the knowledge to excuse the poor of blunders though.

The woodcutter's wife cried. Cried hard. She did not want a sausage for a nose. Please remember too that this all happened many years ago. Not too long ago, but longer ago than plastic surgery. No plastic surgery at this time. Only one wish left and it was not for lots of money to pay for plastic surgery. Actually, this is also true today for the poor. The poor are ugly as you and I both know. You and I both know now that the poor are ugly because they can not afford plastic surgery.

The woodcutter was a hard man. A mean and hard man. But he was a proud man. We all know how proud the poor are. He did not want a wife with a sausage nose. Their was indeed a sausage on her nose. It was very large. Indeed there was a sausage on her nose and only one with left with no plastic surgery. So he wished the sausage off her nose and onto his plate. There was a sausage on his plate. There was no sausage on the woodcutter's wife's nose. No more sausage nose. No more wishes.

That night the woodcutter's wife made sausage soup. Sausage soup lasts a long long long time and everyone knows that the poor need to make things last a long time because who knows when something else will happen and it is good to have things last a long time. The woodcutter was happy to be free of hunger and ate sausage soup. The woodcutter's wife was happy to be free of sausage nose and ate sausage soup. The sausage soup was happy to be eaten because it was obviously useful. Usefulness leads to happily ever after.